2011-02-14

12 of the finest double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio:

1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.' 


2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.' 

3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!' 

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.' 

5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my god !! What have I just said??' 

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.' 

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and as ked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard! 

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.' 

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North' said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this.. ' 

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on 'Sky Sports': 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.' 

11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.' 

12.. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'


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2011-01-31

Tips on eating out in India

Tips on eating out in India -

 

1. Always order soup 1 by 2 (invented in India ) That way you get more if you had ordered 1 soup with an extra bowl. [ So darn true :-) ]

 

2. When ordering sugar cane juice, first insist on no ice cubes. However after the first few sips, ask for the ice cubes with a straight face.

 

3. Ask for extra puri when you are just finishing your bhel or sev-puri. It is absolutely ok !

 

4. Ask for free cucumber / boiled aloo after you have eaten and paid for your sandwich. Remember ~ after you have paid.

 

5. Sample all the ice cream flavors free at Natural Ice Cream and then order Sitaphal.

 

6. When buying peanuts or groundnuts or Chana-Chor-Garam it is ok to keep on munching freebies from the display area till the time your order is getting packed. It is your birthright !

 

7. At most Mughlai restaurants, you can make a small meal with the free Papad, peanuts, onions, pickles and chutney so you can skip the starters.

 

8. Always ask for free sherbet after you have super sucked your Kala Khatta Gola back into ice.

 

9. It is absolutely ok to pocket the free toothpicks, mint packets and fenugreek seeds served at restaurants - to be used for your parties at home.

 

10.Do not tip more than 2 % of your total bill, however excellent the services. Anything more than that will result in heart failure of the poor waiter. Also we don't want you guys to spoil him as we have to live with them after you guys leave.

 

11. Lastly do not forget to give 'MISSED CALL' ( a concept invented by the indians) before leaving for party.

 

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